Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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