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don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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