she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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