so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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