I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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