I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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