Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
