what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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