My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
