I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I checked into jail on foursquare
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
