After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sober January is a disaster.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
