South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you win again, gameday.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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