I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
