I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
