Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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