please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
