i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just google imaged poop.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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