i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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