So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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