perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
