yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
