The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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