I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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