I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize