the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize