Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
