Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
