Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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