Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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