Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
