They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
