So drunk, too bad you don't want this
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
