They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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