if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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