My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
