Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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