My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
