? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
