CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize