if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
ttyl tear gas
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
