oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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