i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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