Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
