I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
