he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize