At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
