How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
