Just mADE A PArabola og urine
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize