i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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