dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
