yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
