a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
In the future we'll all be gay
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
