My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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