ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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