is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
