So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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