lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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