When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
