I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
