Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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