i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
