We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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