A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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