Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
