it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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