Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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