Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Randomize
