Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I would fuck him just for his dog
I deserve this hangover.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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