there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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