I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
