I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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